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Funny whatsapp message

Funny whatsapp message

Ek aurat ne ek tota 3000/-  mein kharida!!!
Dukandar ne bataya yeh Tota pahle ek aurat ke pass tha jo Red light area mein rahati thi... Yeh mat kharido...
aurat nahi mani, Qki use vahi khubsurat tota Pasand tha... vo usko ghar lekar aa gayi...
Tota :-  va va naya ghar!!!
 aurat ko acha laga
Lekin jab usaki 2 betiya school se aayi tab,
Tota :-  va va nayi nayi ladkiya...
Ab aurat ko jara "tension" aaya...
Magar jab sham ko uska pati Santosh ghar aaya tab,
Tota :- kya re "Santosh" tu idhar bhi???

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Bilkul fresh
-------------------------
Chor aya , Tijori par likha tha
"Todne ki zaroorat nahi button dabao, khul jayegi"
Button dabate hi Police aa gayi.
Police : Tumko kuch apni safai me kehna hai ?
Chor : Maa kasam aaj insaniyat se vishwas uth gaya..
---------------------------
Ravan ko court me laya gaya aur kaha :- Gita pe hath rakho.
Ravan bola :- Sala Sita pe hath rakha to itna matter hua. Ab Gita pe.
SORRY BOSS I'M NOT INTERESTED

---------------------------------------------------------
Doctor: Aapki Biwi ab sirf do dino ki mehman hai. I'm so sorry...
Santa: Isme sorry ki kya baat hai Dr. Saab. Nikaal lenge ye do din bhi jaise-taise...
-------------------------
Ek Sardarni behosh ho gayi...
Doctor: Yeh mar gayi hai..
Jab usko jalane lage to woh uth baithi aur boli mein zinda hoon...!!
Sardar: Chupchap padi reh gawar, tu Doctor se zyada jaanti hai kya?
Jalao ji Jalao...
------------------------
Santa: Agar operation ke dauran mujhe kuch ho jaye to usi doctor se shaadi kar lena...
Biwi: Aisa Q kehte ho ji?
Santa: To kya doctor ko maaf kar doon?? 
------------------------
Sardar ne apni sagaai tod di...
Kyonki,
Ladki kunwari thi...
Sardar bola: Jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui, wo meri kya hogi...


Intrviewer: congrats, you are selected. Ur 1st yr salary is 60,000 & next yr it will be 1 lakh.
Sardar: thnkuu. I'll join next year..

Doctr : i am sorry.
Opration ke waqt Rubber ke Gloves
aapke pet me reh gaye.
Dobara opration karna hoga.
Sardar : abey, pagal hai kya? Ye le 20 rupaye naya le le...

-------------)))))))))------------
ALIA IS BACK TO STUN US WITH HER INTELLIGENCEAlia : What is the name of your car?Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.Alia : Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.Alia left bollywood and joined new job. 1st day she worked till late evening on the computer. Her Boss was very happy and asked what you did till evening.Alia : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken..Alia : Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!Alia : Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?Alia : U cheated me.Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.Alia : Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is ‘All India Radio! ‘NOW THE LAST ONE ULTIMATE:Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?Alia : An old king’s skeleton.Tourist: Who’s that smaller skeleton next to it?Alia : That was same king’s skeleton when he was a child.
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Madrasi asks PUNJABI :- Ek bat poochhu.?
PUNJABI :- Puchho- puchho..
Madrasi :-
Punjabiyon ka padhai me dhyaan kyu nahi lagta..?
Punjabi:- kyuki...
PADHAAI sirf do wajah se hoti hai- 1: Shouk se aur
2: Dar se
Faaltu shouk punjabi paalte Nahi  aur  Dartay to kisi ke Baap se nahi...
----------------)-------------))))-------
ये चुटकुला बनाने वाले को 21 तोपो की सलामी.......
संता- डाक्टर साहब दस्त ने बेहाल कर रखा है
डाक्टर-कितना पतला आता है?
संतंा- समझ लो कि आप उस से कुल्ला कर सकते हो ।
---------))))))))------------
Proper Procedure
Bank mein customer ne cheque dete hue poochha: Madam yeh kitne dino mein clear ho jaayega.
Madam: Kam se kam do-teen din lagenge.
Customer: Lekin madam itna time kyon lagega? Jis bank ka cheque maine diya hai woh to saamne waali duilding mein hi hai.
Madam (Bade hi shaant swar mein): Sir main aapko kaise samjhun, procedure to follow karna hi padta hai na. Maan leejiye ki aap shamshaan ke saamne hi mar jaate hain to ghar waale aapki laash ko ghar le jaayenge ya wahin saamne nipta denge. Boliye?
Customer behosh!

------------)))-))-----)--------------
A bus full of housewives  going on a picnic ,
fell into a river ,
all died .
Each husband cried for a week ,
one husband continued for more than two weeks !!!
When asked that did he miss his wife so much ?
he replied miserably :
No
My wife
missed
the bus !!!
😋😛
In heaven God told all husbands & wives to gather for a meeting!
He told the men to stand in two queues...
Those who are controlled by their wives & those who control their wives!
Only 1 man stood in d second Queue...
God said "So you control ur wife?"
Man: "R u CRAZY ???
My wife told me to stand here"...
Lol
A Junior in office dialled his boss's extension by mistake & said:
Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in 2 min 
Boss Shouted: Do u know whom u r talking 2? 
Jr : No!
Boss: I'm the BOSS 👺
Jr (in same tone): do u know whom u r talking to?
Boss: No!
Jr : THANK GOD (& disconnected) 
If Flipkart starts matrimonial services 👬, they will become the No.1 site in the world 🌎 because they have a 30 day return 💫policy no questions asked

Killer.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔪🔪🔪
News on Pak TV :
"Water & presence of Whales & Sharks found on Moon by Pakistani Satellite."
News on BBC :
"Satellite launched by Pakistan found in Arabian Sea"
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